Just watched "Reign Over Me". Adam Sandler's character has lost everything that gave his life shape and meaning. Don Cheadle's character has everything he's supposed to, and deals with (mostly) normal-sized problems, except for having such a whacked-out friend. In the end, Sandler's character begins to find ways to move on - literally.
It was good for me. Whatever I continue to lose & whatever I manage to regain, there's not much I can keep from before and even less that I want to. Hanging onto anything that doesn't do me a lot of good is just not very good for me, but letting go of things that did so much for me before (I'm thinking particularly of my flute, here; a perfect panacea, it was) does not bring back what I lost.
I have to keep re-assessing, and that's hard. Every time I've settled into a "new normal," things change again. I want to score but they keep moving the goalposts ... Not to mention repainting the lines, changing the scoring system and playing on a different field.
Maybe I should just throw away the rulebook. Hmm...
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Friday, January 29, 2010
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